Worst birthday ever, bar none.
So, I wake up this mornign and work on paper. good. I go to brunch with partner and best friend. good. and bookstore. good. [ed note: "this morning" was really more like 11:30. Which accounts for why after this modest amount of activity I get to get ready for dinner.]
come home to shower and dress for dinner. Sister is here sans husband. they're going to dinner in separate cars-- husband will be along later.
we get a call from my aunt saying that grammie is in the hospital and doing very poorly. so about this time its 330 and dinner is at 4. (well, last time dinner was "at 4" and we sat down to eat at 6, so I figured that the gathering was at 4) [family dinner, instated in march, is the 2nd sunday of the month]
so Sis calls my dad and he's all "well, dinner is at 4, I think you're being very rude."
and Sis is like "grammie is in the hospital we just want to go see her."
and my dad is all "be here by 445 and I still think you're being rude."
so we go see grammie and it turns out that she'll probably die tonight. [eta: or not-- the younger doctor was not so keen on making that kind of prediction, but it's pretty certain that she's not going to get better and go home.] no big shocker there. I do feel some sadness that I wasn't able to do all the things with her I ever wanted to do but I got the life story of our family and spent a lot of afternoons with her and she passed on to me a lot of pictures and docuiments... or she was going to. now my aunt will probably take them but you know what? i don't care. she's a librarian so they're probably better off in her capable hands than in mine.
jeez, I just realized, when I go back tonight I should take the big picture of grammie that I had done. I never showed it to her. [I showed it to her later, when we went back to the hospital, and she was very very pleased. she was also pleased to see me knitting and told the people who came into the room that i was knitting. awww.]
she was still coherrant at 430 but obviosuly VERY sick.
SO ANYWAY we leave the hospital after Sis and I change her sheet and make sure she's all comfy (her nurse is really good, we just happened upon a litlte messiness) and I'm like "ok, onward to 42 pissy bitch street" and we plan to return tonight after the dinner.
so I get there and everyone is like hello, hi, and my dad is like how is grammie, and I'm taking a chip and I say "well, she's probably going to die tonight."
Sis is getting a cuddle from husband and looking very sad about things.
and my dad goes "oh, really." like, totally nonplussed.
and I'm like "thanks for throwing a fit about letting us see her."
and he goes "do you want to leave right now?"
and at first I think he's just being nice, like do I, and i open my mouth to say "no, I think we can stay here for a while" and he continues "because if you're going to be a bitch, you can just leave."
and I'm like woah, that was unexpected, so I try for lightness and say "well, you started it," and he's like "no, if you're going to be a bitch, I'm serious, get the fuck out."
so I said fine, you can call me when you're ready to apoligize.
and he's yelling at me GET THE FUCK OUT.
and I'm scared, frankly, because dude is he having a STROKE? because this is not like him.
So now I'm crying and sad.
so, that's the e-mail. My future step-mother followed me to our car. Because partner is not walking fast as she usually does because of a long standing injury she caught up to me before I could zoom away. She was like "you must come and spend time with me without your dad, I want to see you" and i was like "no, I won't even though I'm pissed off with him I don't think I could do that becauase I don't want him thinking I'm ganging up against him with you," but you know, I wonder if that kind of thinking that I have to be loyal to him is pathological or what.
Spent from about 6 to 10 at the hospital. Good times.
Now I'm home and I think I have a UTI but I'll be damned if I go to the ER right now.
Maybe one of the NPs who I work with would prescribe me some cipro.